That’s not a, ‘Don’t ask, Don’t tell’ reference up there. No sir. This is purely smut-related, as anyone knows a film based on action figures that became staples for every kid with a penchant for blowing up bad guys in the 80s should be.
Here’s a new poster from the upcoming G.I. Joe (Rise of the Airbrushed Ass) film (see below the cut):
God knows, she could at least distract the enemy. So much for women's lib, eh?
Early reports say that the film will be a more ‘stylized telling of the storyline based from the action figures.’ And by ‘stylized’, we assume they mean ‘tighter asses *, CGI-enhanced abs, loads of innuendo, lots of skin-tight suits that give the ability to move around better, despite the obvious riding up the fanny that rubber and neoprene provides.’ Kids will be, ‘more satisfied by the obvious pandering to their baser elements’ and men and women, as adults, ‘will probably feel like going home and surfing porn after the film.’ This is, according to the filmmakers, ‘far more important than paying any real homage to any sort of “real, American heroes.”’ **
* And, no argument here, it is a nice ass
**I’m totally making this shit up. But do I think it’s probably close to true? Magic Eightball?
“Signs point to yes.”
Thanks, Magic Eightball.
Carey
thisgirltv
poormovietaste
I’m trying to figure out who exactly they’re trying to appeal to with this film.
The kids audience is simply thinking, “what the hell is a G.I. Joe?”
Adults who actually do remember it, don’t really give a shit enough to watch a film. I know I haven’t been dying to see Cobra Commander.
I say we make a petition to ensure that Sgt. Slaughter is allowed to play himself in this film!!
Signs point to yes! hahahahahahahaha!
I woke up this morning dying to see Cobra Commander.
hehe!
i’m just having fun imagining how horrendous this film is going to be.
part of me already knows how bad. and knowing is half the battle. therefore, my wallet has won this battle and the exorbitant ticket price has been dodged!
YO JOE!